Doula Search

My husband has said from the very beginning not to count on him to be in the delivery room when the baby is born. He saw a baby born in real life while training to be a paramedic and said it was one of the reasons he chose a different career path. I told him all I expected was for him to try. He agreed that he would but that I should have a back-up just in case.

I chose my MIL as my back-up. She is really laid back and I think would be a calming influence when I needed it most. It is also her first and maybe only grandchild and I thought she would really like to be there.

Then my FIL was diagnosed with lymphoma.

I started my Bradley birthing classes the last week in May. When I found the class, it was only a week before it started and as it is a 12 week course, I couldn't wait for the next round because it would be too late. As it turns out, my husband had just committed to doing something on the same night of the week as the classes so he is unable to attend with me. My MIL wanted to attend but felt she should stay with FIL instead. So I am on my own where the classes are concerned.

Natural child birth (NCB) is something I really want to do, but with out a competent and knowledgeable coach, I will have a really hard time. So I decided to hire a doula (professional birthing coach). I figure she can help coach my husband and/or my MIL to coach me and coach me if they need a break.

When I told my husband what I wanted to do, he said it was a stupid waste of money. I told him to drop his Thursday night commitment and come to my classes with me then. He said no... "Then I am getting a doula."

I interviewed 4 and have it narrowed down to 2. The 2 I have it narrowed down to both have pros and cons and I am really torn between them... I really want my husband to meet them so I can get his opinion but he said just pick the best looking or cheapest one... so he's not a lot of help there... I am having a hard time getting in touch with references for one of them but I think it's just because it was a holiday week and they may not be in town so I am going to try again this week...

I really want to make the right choice here and I have been praying on it a lot. When I picture the birth, I can see clearly who it is but she's the least experienced and lives the furthest away from us. But she is also the cheapest. The other one used to go to my church and would be a good spiritual guide (and that's important because I will need reminding that God will not give me more than I can handle), she has the most experience and lives pretty close to me and the hospital.

I need to make the decision soon so whoever it is can go on the hospital tour with us and we can start the prenatal visits...

I am so TORN!!!!!