After we got the 3D ultrasound, I carried the pics around with me a lot... mostly to share with others but also to gaze at myself occasionally.
It is still so surreal... I am going to be a mom. There is a baby inside me. I can feel the movement several times a day but it still is so beyond belief that it is not real to me yet. The nursery is done with the exception of the rocker my mom is reupholstering for me, I have completed all my child birth classes, the car seat is ready to be installed and the stroller is already in my trunk... but it still doesn't seem real to me yet...
So when a coworker asked me if I was in love when I showed her the 3D pics, I felt guilty when my response was "I don't even know the kid yet." I mean, I care about Spider Child and I care what happens to him/her but how can I say that I love someone when I don't even know them?
I guess when I think about it, I do love the kid... but its like how you love your siblings when you are growing up or how you love your parents during your teen years... you love them because you have to, not because you really feel the emotion.
I guess the coworker sensed my guilt because she reminded me of a baby I fell in love with a few years ago... she said "You will be fine... think of how much you loved Corrina..."
Yeah, I will be just fine... :-)
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