Holy S#%*!

Got this e-mail the other day and had to share:

Dog For Sale

Free to good home. Excellent guard dog.


Owner cannot afford to feed him anymore, as there are no more drug pushers, thieves, murderers, or molesters left in the neighborhood for him to eat.

Most of them knew him as 'Holy Shit.'

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9 weeks today....

Hormones Ammended

Yesterday morning GMA interviewed Nancy Kerrigan in a "where are they now" segment... They showed a bunch of clips from the 90s of the news footage and of her winning the Silver Olympic Medal just weeks after the attack that injured her knee.

Guess who was still so proud of her that she cried...

Yup, that would be me...

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In other news, Bailey surprised me this morning while I was getting ready for work... I was standing at the bathroom sink dressed from waist (or just below the belly) down but with only a sports bra on my upper half. As I was putting on a bit of make-up, I felt her ice cold wet nose nudge my expanding belly...

Despite my concerns that I am showing enough at 8 weeks that my dog noticed a change and I am now wearing maternity clothes AND reasonably filling them out, the doctor informed me that my uterus is the perfect size for a normally developing 8-week singleton.

So much for using the possibility of twins as an excuse...

Hormones

Holy hormones, Batman! They hit me like a ton of bricks today...

This morning I woke up feeling fine. I ate a few saltines before I got out of bed, then got up to let Bailey out. I ate a big bowl of cereal and a handful of grapes and I got ready for the day.

Just as I was about to walk out the door, it hit me. I got so nauseous I thought I was gonna lose my breakfast. I hung out in the bathroom for a bit, then I ventured to the couch. Of course Bailey thought this was the perfect opportunity to play a bit of indoor fetch and kept pawing at the couch making it bounce. So I headed back to the bathroom. I was not about to get on the road feeling like that... I would have killed someone if I had lost it while driving.

After about 30 minutes, it faded and I was able to leave for work. I have been fine ever since.

Now I am sitting at my desk trying to work and I have not felt this irritated since I experienced "roid rage" while being treated for a spider bite 6 years ago. PMS has nothing on this!

I am annoyed at a mom who threw a fit this weekend because her baby didn't get a repeat hearing screen. We told her she would have to come back as an outpatient and she set the apt for next Friday. Then she told the nurses after the screener had left for the day that she was going out of town to stay with her parents for 2 weeks and couldn't make the apt. Who the hell travels with a newborn?!? Why aren't her parents coming HERE to help her? I think she was just full of it and didn't want to have to come back in. Too bad, do your job as a parent and get over yourself!!! I agreed to see her the same day as the pediatrician (in 2 weeks) so she could make one big trip instead of having to come twice. Of course she still hasn't called me with that date so they'll probably never come back and that is a crapload of paperwork I have to do.

I am annoyed at the parents who named their kid Anakin, because, seriously, who names their kid after Darth Vader?

I am annoyed that it took an act of God to get me a flat screen monitor in my office after I already had one and was told it wasn't part of the contract with the health system and the new company so they took it away. Then I started getting headaches from the curve of the screen on the ancient one they replaced it with and was blown off by everyone at the HS I asked for help. So I went to the NC techs and asked them for one. No problem, yes mam, right away. Then the health system got all bent out of shape about it. People are so stupid!!!

I am annoyed by the new mom who, at 23 years old, sucked her thumb the entire time I was screening her baby. This was her 2nd kid, and no, she did not have a developmental delay. She was just extremely immature. GROW UP!!!!

I am annoyed that when there is a sign on a hospital room door that says "SSHHH, hearing screen in progress, please return in 15 minutes" no one thinks this applies to them... and so everyone and their brother come traipsing into the room talking and complaining loudly while I need it quiet to finish the screen on the baby who needs to sleep for this to happen but is now awake because people are so LOUD and obnoxious!!!!

The highlight of my day was my husband calling to chat. I told him about my day and he suggested I just go home. Too bad I have a meeting at 4 and I babysit tonight on the other side of town... at least the kid isn't really a kid, but a pre-teen... and a pretty cool pre-teen at that... and I enjoy hanging out with her so much that I am dreading the day her mom decides she doesn't need me anymore...

Food

I am a vegetarian. My husband is not. We agreed a long time ago that I would eat meat while I was pregnant. I feel the choice is mine not to eat meat and I have no right to tell anyone else what they should or should not put in their bodies. Since the child also belongs to my husband, I feel the least I could do is add a little meat to my diet.

I am what is known as an ovo-lacto-vegetarian. I eat eggs and dairy products, but no sea food or other kind of meat. It had been 8 years since I had eaten any meat. I had a feeling we were going to be adding to our family soon so, in January of 2008, I slowly added sea food back into my diet. In the fall of 2008, I began eating poultry again. But not just any poultry. It had to be "Bare Naked" or organic with no antibiotics or hormones or anything. Free range was best. And I was doing well. My diet was better overall and I didn't have any trouble adding the meats back into my diet.

So now I am expecting. Although I am eating meat now, it is no where near enough to meet my current protein needs. The first couple weeks, I increased my egg and dairy intake (I actually went through 3 gallons of milk in 5 days) and things were fine. I thought this was gonna be a piece of cake.

Not so. I am now having an aversion to eggs and dairy. I can barely take the milk on my cereal. The thought of eggs makes me nauseous. I can still handle yogurt and cheese but only by forcing myself to eat the first few bites.

The only thing I can tolerate no matter what is fruit, which I guess is a good thing. I eat a lot of apples, oranges, bananas, and strawberries and grapes (when they are on sale) and applesauce, canned pears, and mandarin oranges.

But there is another problem. I am hungry all the time. Even when I am full. I thought this was supposed to happen later when the baby takes up all the room inside, not in the first trimester!!!

So food is not my friend right now. I have not been sick yet but it's still early. I guess only time will tell...

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8 weeks today...

Like the Dead

I have been taking a lot of naps lately.

One Saturday, shortly after waking from a nice long nap, my husband came home after what I thought had been a day long errand run. When he asked if I had a nice nap, I was a bit confused... apparently he had come home earlier and I didn't even know it so he went out again to run more errands.

The day after, I didn't get to take one because I attended a friend's baby shower. I came home from that and went straight to yoga. So I didn't get home til after 6. I made some dinner and watched a little tv. My husband had a hockey game so I crawled into bed at 7:15 with the intent of flipping channels til Desperate Housewives came on at 8. I don't think I made it to 7:45.

Monday afternoon, my neighbor asked me what time I went to bed the night before. I told her 7:30 or so because I hadn't got a nap. She laughed...

I guess they had a pretty substantial fire Sunday evening. There were 3 engines and a chief's car, an ambulance (which was parked in our driveway), and half the neighborhood lining the street. And I slept right through it all...

I guess I was tired from making and arm or something...

Announcement

Bailey is proud to inform you that she is going to be a big sister. She couldn't be more excited.

My husband, on the other hand, is silently freaking out:

Husband: You're pregnant?

Me: Yup!

H: Is it mine?

Me (laughing hysterically): Yes

H: What's child support run these days? $500 a month?

Me (still laughing): More like a grand.

An hour passes...

H: You're getting your tubes tied after this, right?

Me: Nope!

Two days later...

H: When do your boobs get bigger?

A few days after that...

H: When do we find out what it is?

Me: When it pops out.

A week later, we are watching tv and he sees someone getting stuck with a needle.

H: AAHH! Turn it!!! Quick!!!

Me: What are you gonna do in the delivery room?

H (shocked): I won't be in there!!!

Me: You won't even try? You won't even go to the birthing classes with me?

H (serious): I will try, but you'd better have a back up just in case.

Me: So you won't be there to hold my hand?

H: Who's gonna hold my hand?

Me: Me!!!!

I have been living on babycenter.com since I found out and they send out a weekly e-mail to tell you what's happening each week. I forward the e-mails to him and have been since I found out but he has not mentioned them. Then the other day:

Me: (at the stove making my dinner)

H: What are you making?

Me: Thai Peanut Noodles with tofu.

H: Are you getting enough protein? It's brain building week, you know...

Me: (open mouthed shock)

H: (turns and walks out of the room)

And that is the extent of our conversation thus far...

:-)

Couples Survey

My friend sent me this survey and I thought I would post it here so you can get an idea of the history and dynamic of our relationship:

1 What are your middle names?
Rose and Francis

2 How long have you been together?
Together since Dec. 23, 2001, married since May 23, 2003

3 How long did you know each other before you started dating?
Knew each other in HS but never dated; Started dating when we ran into each other at a mall.

4 Who asked who out?
He called me and asked me to dinner and a movie.

5 Who said I love you first?
He did but he'd never admit it... we were at a bar with a bunch of his friends about 2 weeks after we started dating and he had been drinking a bit... he said "you know how I feel about you, right?" I said "how" and he said "I love ya to death"

6 How old are each of you?
I am 32 and he is 34

7 Do you have any children together?
Not yet :-)

8 What about pets?
Bailey, a Doberman Pinscher

9 Which situation is the hardest on you as a couple?
Compromising on things when we both feel strongly in different directions.

10 Did you go to the same school?
High school, yes

11 Are you from the same hometown?
Yes

12 Who is the smartest?
I have the book smarts, he has the common sense; He is also much more educated on financial and political things than I am.

13 Who is the most sensitive?
Me, but I know he has a soft spot deep down...

14 Where do you eat out most as a couple?
Lots of places: Outback Steak House, Golden Corral, Fizzoli's, Pizza Street

15 Where is the farthest you two have traveled together as a couple?
Las Vegas right after we got engaged and again for our honeymoon.

16 Who has the craziest ex?
That's a draw. We've both dated some nuts...

17 Who has the worst temper?
He does...

18 Who does the cooking?
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!! Whew....

19 Who is the most social?
Me

20 Who is the neat-freak?
I like things clutter-free but he likes things sterile... so as long as the junk and the space around it is clean, he is happy, where as I refuse to clean around the junk... you can see how this is a problem...

21 Who is the most stubborn?
Both of us, but I think he might just be a bit more...

22 Who hogs the bed?
Bailey

23 Who wakes up earlier?
I wake up about 7 every day like clockwork... He is up at 5 during the week but sleeps til noon on the weekends... I wish I could do that...

24 How long did you date before getting married?
Just under 4 months when we got engaged, 17 months when we got married

25 Who has the bigger family?
Me

26 Do you get flowers often?
twice... our first Valentine's he left 3 tulips in different spots around my apartment; the other time we had not been dating long and we had argued about something and he got me a little arrangement to apologize...

27 Who do you spend the holidays with?
Both families... we have merged Thanksgiving the past 2 years with both families together... Christmas we split Eve and Day...

28 Who is more jealous?
HIM!!!!

29 How long did it take to get serious?
a few weeks... we were looking at rings at about 6 weeks and were engaged at less than 4 months

30 Who sings better?
Me, he's cute when he tries but he can't carry a tune :-)

31 Who does the laundry?
Me... It only took him one time putting my Victoria's Secret bras in the dryer for me to take over that job exclusively.

32 Who's better with the computer?
Another draw...

33 Who drives when you are together?
Depends on who's vehicle we take, but I try to make him drive even if we are in my car... But if he drinks, I drive no matter who's car we're in.

34 Who picks where you go to dinner?
Both of us... we take turns if there is a difference of opinion.

35 Who is the first one to admit when they're wrong?
We are both bad about that... I usually try to keep the peace... we agree to disagree a lot...

36 Who wears the pants in the relationship?
Him... but he respects that I let him...

37 Who has more tattoos?
He has none so that would be me...

38 Who eats more sweets?
Me... but not so much the last few weeks...

39 Who cries more?
Me. I saw tears in his eyes while dancing with his mom at our wedding and he was inconsolable when Gizmo passed away... but that's it...

40 Are you two still a couple?
Of course... He can't get rid of me that easy :-)