Apricots

My parents keep a stash of dried apricots on their counter... the primary use is dog treats, but my dad and my child eat them, too...

Over the weekend, we had lunch at my folks' house and after we ate, Kayden asked my dad for an apricot...

Kayden: Can I have a apricot, please, Papa?
Grandpa: Only if I can get a kiss....
Kayden: (turning to me) Mommy, can I please have a apricot?

(The whole table bursts out laughing.)

Mommy: Give your grandpa a kiss...
Kayden: (obediently kisses Grandpa) Can I have 2 apricots, now?

(More laughter...)

She is SO stinkin' smart!

(We ARE working on proper English, BTW: "MAY I please..." and "AN apricot..." but we still have some work to do...)

New Love?

Shortly after I filed for divorce, I requested several friends on Facebook who I had previously removed or denied out of respect for my husband...

With the ones who accepted, I exchanged the typical pleasantries and complements on their children, etc and then they faded into the FB background, only to pop up sporadically with random updates and/or pictures.

One of those friends was Mike... It just so happened that he was in the middle of some legal issues, too, so we vented our legal frustrations to each other and renewed a friendship that had been dormant since we were 14 years old...

As time passed, it was clear that our feelings for each other were starting to deepen past the friendship point. My divorce was not yet final so I made it very clear to him that if at any point before the judge signed the papers my husband had a change of heart and chose to do the things necessary to repair our broken marriage, our friendship would have to end as my priority was to my family first. He was very understanding and incredibly supportive... he chose to stick it out, knowing that the possibility of never speaking to me again was there...

The divorce did go through and he was there to comfort me and help me heal in any way I needed... we talked for hours about our past relationships and things we liked and didn't like... we discussed our mistakes and short-comings and talked about how we would do things differently if we were put in the same position again... we talked about our plans and dreams for the future and about our goals and things we'd like to see happen for our children (he has a daughter as well)...

And it just keeps getting better... He has become my best friend... there are no secrets or hidden feelings... we never argue, but discuss our differences of opinion with open-minded respect... we can agree to disagree and still respect each other when we don't see eye to eye... We are a real team when it comes to anything, from making dinner, to cleaning up after... He'll play with Kayden or read her a book so I can chat with a friend and she just adores him... I think his daughter, Kelsey, is great, and he happily steps back and lets me help with the teenage girly things with her...

It's funny how life plays out sometimes... I never, in a million years, thought I'd be dating my 8th grade boyfriend again... but I am excited and optimistic about what the future has in store for us...

Goals & Healing

I am an on/off smoker... I smoked through part of college and grad school and quit about a year after I got married... I would bum the occational one while out with friends but quit doing that about 3 months before we started trying for Kayden...

I started again last June when my husband and I separated... when he moved back in, I quit again... and started up again in December when I filed for divorce...

This is a year of healing for me... Part of that healing involves completing a goal of mine from several years ago... which happened to require me to quit smoking at the beginning of April when I started training...

I am currently training for a half marathon that is taking place on October 20... I know I can do it as I've walked further than that before... but I really want to get back into running and I figure the only way to keep myself motivated is to aim high.

I am training on a walk 1/run 2-3 minute schedule as of now... some days are better than others but I know I'm improving... and while I'd like to run the whole distance, I am realistic and know it may be a walk/run interval kind of day...

I'm totally going to ROCK that 13.1 sticker on the back of my car, though ;-)

Mouths Of Babes

When I get frustrated with a whiney, uncooperative Kayden (almost 3), I tend to say things like "I'm gonna put you on the porch!" or "I'm gonna throw you out the window!" and then turn and walk away... It's not anything I'd EVER do, only a way to blow off steam...

Last night, we were having a hard time... Kayden was upset that her bandaid got wet but didn't want another one, then said she had to go potty but refused to walk to the bathroom because it would mess up her bandaid even more...

Mommy: I'm gonna throw you out the window!
(Paused, then tried to pick her up to carry her to the bathroom so she could go potty.)
Kayden: NO! Don't throw me out the window!!!
Mommy: (I burst out laughing) Baby, I'd never really throw you out the window!
Kayden: (Laughed, too, because Mommy was laughing so hard)

********************

A few weeks ago, we were riding in the car when we came to a stop light. I reached back and grabbed her foot...

Mommy: I love you, Toes!
Kayden: Mommy! Don't touch my toes! They're DANGEROUS!

(Where does she get this stuff?!?!)

Where Have I Been?

It's been several months since my last post... and looking over my history the past couple years, it seems I take a break during the fall/winter months...

Sorry, a lot is going on in our little family...

I filed for divorce... Someday I'll tell the whole story, but for now, it's just not worth the drama... My heart is broken yet the overwhelming feeling of relief is refreshing after the last year of stress and worry and anxiety... I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off my chest...

We are both currently staying in the house, but with his work and activity schedule, he's only there when he sleeps or is spending time with Kayden so we avoid each other most of the time.

Despite being sad that my marriage is over, I am very much at peace with my decision and am looking forward to what the future holds. I know God has a plan for me and I am excited to learn what that plan is.

Thank you for your continued prayers and support.

Out of the Mouths of Babes...

Shopping at Walmart is a regular occurrence for our family... when we go as a family, my husband and I tag-team keeping Kayden entertained and occupied... but when it's just me and the kiddo, I have to get creative...

So when I take on the challenge of shopping alone with a toddler in tow, I usually let her pick a toy to play with while we're there... every once in a while, I actually get the toy, but not often, so she's used to saying "bye, (insert toy name here), see you next time..."

On one trip in particular, she had picked up 2 different baby dolls... I repeated to her throughout the trip that if she was good, we would get to take one home with us... when we got to the line to pay, I told her she could keep 1... she said "want" hugging them both... I said "pick one" and she replied "twins!"

How the &%$# did she come up with that?!?!?! She was about 18 months old at the time... I am in so much trouble....

Pass It On

This morning, I ate a $12.50 breakfast from McDonald's and I enjoyed every bite....

I frequently stop for breakfast at McDonald's... it's right on the corner on the way to the sitter's and it's easier than trying to get up early enough to fix myself breakfast along with getting myself and my child ready for our day...

Several months ago, I decided to do something nice and I paid for the order of the car behind me as well as my own... it was only a couple dollars and I figured it might really make that person's day... I told the cashier to tell the driver behind me "God bless you and pass it on." I never thought about it again.

This morning my husband was watching the munchkin... I was heading a different direction to work but I hadn't had any breakfast yet... I stopped at a different McDonald's drive-thru... I ordered my usual meal and was told my total was $4.75... I thanked the voice inside the box and pulled through to pay.

When I got to the window to pay, the cashier informed me that the car in front of me had paid for my meal... I was touched... this person, who didn't know me from Adam, blindly bought my breakfast... they had no idea how much it would mean to me or if it would make an impression at all... I was so touched, I told the cashier I wanted to pay for the car behind me... She told me the total was $12.50 and asked if I was sure... I said "yes" and handed her the money...

As I pulled forward, I could see the people in the truck behind me... it appeared to be a middle-aged dad and his 2 teen aged sons... the teens looked perplexed and I saw the dad hand the cashier money and get a receipt... My guess is he paid for the car behind him as well... (What great teaching opportunity for that family... I hope they used it...)

It made me wonder if the same had happened to the car in front of me... How many people paid for a strangers breakfast this morning? How many people before me and after me kept the kindness going? And would the person who started it ever know the cascade of generosity they triggered?

And how sad it would have been if one of those people just said, "cool, thanks!" and didn't pass it on?

I will choose to believe that the chain reaction continued until it got to a car with a parent who really couldn't afford it for whatever reason... and although that parent was prepared to make a personal sacrifice so their child could get McDonald's, they wouldn't have to now, because of the kindness of a stranger who passed it on....